How to Balance Being a Wife, Mom, and Your Own Person

 As wives and mothers, we often find ourselves pulled in a hundred different directions. Between taking care of our families, managing responsibilities, and keeping up with life’s demands, it’s easy to lose sight of who we are outside of our roles. But the truth is, we were created not just to serve, but to thrive as individuals, too.

1. Acknowledge That Balance Looks Different in Every Season

Balance doesn’t mean everything gets equal attention all the time. Some seasons will require more from you as a wife, others as a mom, and some will allow space for personal growth. Give yourself grace to adjust without guilt. I went from being a stay-at-home mom, homeschooling for several years, to now having young adults. My focus is very different now than it was just a few years ago and my time has shifted quite a bit. For years I was eager for them to get older and have more independence, but when the time came, I found it quite bittersweet. As you change seasons, there will be growing pains and adjustments, but God is faithful to see you through it all.

2. Prioritize Time with Your Spouse

Your marriage is the foundation of your family, and keeping that relationship strong benefits everyone. Whether it’s a weekly date night, morning coffee together, or heartfelt conversations before bed, make intentional time for your husband. It's easy to get distracted with day to day life but we have to remember our marriages come first. Staying connected through life's transitions requires great effort my both parties. Checkins are essential, quality time, and thoughtful gestures can go a long way.We didn't have many opportunities to go out alone in the earlier years, but in home date nights can be quite rewarding and shows that you're willing to make the time for your partner.

3. Set Boundaries Around Motherhood

As much as we love our children, motherhood shouldn’t consume our entire identity. It’s okay to say no to overcommitment, set expectations for independent play, and carve out moments for yourself without guilt. 

4. Don’t Neglect Your Own Growth

You are more than a wife and mother—you are a woman with dreams, passions, and a purpose. Whether it’s pursuing a hobby, furthering your faith journey, learning a new skill, or simply having time to rest, prioritize something that fuels you. Having a schedule can make this a lot easier to accomplish. Small children thrive on a schedule and it helps you to find time to pour into yourself. I once had a three hour nap time window each day that I used for bible study, exercising, watching tv, or just some mindless scrolling. During my time raising our kids I learned about natural hair care, taught myself how to sew, do makeup, and focused on my never ending health journey.

5. Learn the Power of Asking for Help

You don’t have to do it all alone. Whether it’s leaning on your husband, asking your kids to pitch in, or seeking support from friends and your church community, let others help you carry the load. This is a lesson that is best learned sooner than later. Not everyone has the support they would like, but be open to those opportunities and utilize them. Marriage is a partnership and you shouldn't feel burdened down trying to do everything by yourself. Communicate your needs and expectations to those around you so that everyone works together.

6. Make Time for Your Faith

Spending time with God will refresh your soul and help you navigate your roles with wisdom. Whether it’s reading scripture, praying, or journaling, make space for spiritual renewal. Some do this first thing in the morning, others throughout the day or before bed. There is no right or wrong way and you should be adaptable to changes. I'm not a morning person so getting up before my kids just wan't sustainable for me, I used their naps for that time, now that they are adults, I have my quiet time I first wake up(most days).

7. Release the Guilt

Many wives and moms struggle with guilt when they take time for themselves. Remember, a well-loved and cared-for YOU is better equipped to love and care for your family. Self-care isn’t selfish—it’s necessary. Remember it's impossible to pour from an empty cup, so do the things that matter to you and keep your spirits high, that's the best way to show up for your family.

Finding the Right Balance for You

Balancing marriage, motherhood, and your personal identity is a journey, not a destination. Some days will feel overwhelming, while others will be full of joy. Embrace the ebb and flow, keep communication open with your husband, and trust that God has given you everything you need for this season of life.

What’s one way you make time for yourself while balancing marriage and motherhood? Share in the comments!