Why Real Self-Care Isn’t Selfish: Filling Your Cup the Right Way

 

Self-care is often marketed as bubble baths and fresh mani/pedis, but true self-care goes much deeper than surface level lifestyle treats. As wives and moms, we pour into others daily, but are we pouring into ourselves the right way? Let’s redefine real self-care as soul care: things that nourish us spiritually, emotionally, and mentally.

1. Rooting Yourself in God’s Word

The most important self-care practice is spending intentional time with God. Reading and meditating on Scripture refuels your soul and gives wisdom, peace, and direction. His word cultivates us into becoming our best selves, we learn what true self care looks like in how we are to treat ourselves and others in this world. So let's take a look at some practical ways we can make time even in our busiest seasons of life:

• Start your day with one verse or devotion (even 5 minutes counts!)
• Use audio Bibles while cooking or driving (I love the YouVersion App)
• Keep a prayer journal to release burdens and track God’s faithfulness 

2. Setting Boundaries That Protect Your Peace

In this manner, self-care would be defined as saying No to the things that drain you, and Yes to what truly matters. When my mom passed, so did my people pleasing spirit. My grief caused me to withdraw from everyone on some level and gave me the opportunity to reevaluate what was important to me. When I started to return into the fold, I was no longer afraid to say no, but rather embraced it and the freedom it came with. I know how difficult it can be, but I challenge you if this is a problem area to think of the relief, time best used elsewhere, and piece of mind you would experience from one small word. Remember boundaries are biblical, Jesus often withdrew to pray and rest. Where do you need stronger boundaries? For example:

• Emotional boundaries: Not carrying everyone else’s burdens
• Time boundaries: Not overcommitting out of guilt
• Mental boundaries: Limiting social media, negativity, or toxic conversations

3. The Power of Rest and Recharging

We often think rest is lazy, but God created rest (Genesis 2:2). Rest isn’t just about sleep, it’s about disconnecting to reset. Similar to the devices we hold nonstop, we are best able to fully recharge when we set aside time to just rest. When we fail to take this time, our bodies start to react in ways that will force us to make time. There should be no guilt in taking time to let yourself process all of the things or just be. The best part is when we are done, we can return fully energized and ready to take on life's challenges. Here are some simple ways we can rest and recharge:

• Unplug from devices for an hour a day
• Go for a walk without multitasking
• Prioritize hobbies and creative outlets that bring joy

Ask yourself: When was the last time you truly rested?

4. Pouring Into Yourself So You Can Pour Into Others

You can’t pour from an empty cup. Self-care means feeding your mind, body, and soul so you can show up fully for your family. Taking care of yourself IS taking care of your family. The more stressful our lives become, the less we feel innate to look after ourselves, but this is actually when we should lean into this the most. The more we invest in ourselves, the more we have to give to others. So these are some practical ways to invest in yourself:

• Join a Bible study or women’s group
• Read books that challenge and encourage you
• Spend time with uplifting friends who pour into you

So just remember self-care isn’t about luxury, it’s about longevity. Real self-care strengthens your spirit, mind, and relationships. It restores and rejuvenates us, so we can show up as our best. Make a commitment to care for yourself the way God intended with wisdom, rest, and boundaries.

Matthew 11:28 "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."

Comment below: What’s one way you can practice REAL self-care this week?