Being Married To A Car Guy Is Not For The Weak

 

There are currently 12 vehicles in my front yard, with half of them actually running and being driven. As for the other half, four are abandoned projects, 1 is currently being worked on and the last is the car he's taking parts off for the one being worked on. I won't be able to use the driveway until he's done, so I'm currently overwhelmed whenever I need to drive, because I know I will need to get the car back in its spot when I come back and my backup skills need some refinement. I had no idea this is what I signed up for. But when I look back to the beginning, the signs were there. We met when I was in college and he was then driving an old school light blue Cadillac. I remember 19 year old me thinking, this was different. That car stood out like a sore thumb whenever he drove on campus to pick me up and I hated that, because it made people stare and I've always been a private person. He would often share his dream of wanting a shop to restore imports and I remember thinking it was cool he had a plan. After school he ditched the Cadillac for a purple Breeze that I didn't care much for either. 

After I gave birth to my son, he brought a black Nissan Sentra. He claimed this was a car he had always wanted. This was the beginning of his buying old cars I have always wanted phase. I wasn't mad at the Sentra until during a trip to NYC it stopped working and we had to replace the alternator. At this point we were two kids in and things were starting to get cramped but he loved that car. So we turned to my dad for assistance on buying a van that was another car he wanted when he was younger. I don't recall the specifics but I know that we didn't have it long. From there, it has been a string of buying old cars mostly as projects related to something from his youth. So many cars have come through our yard and I'm usually excited when one finally leaves.

Not only is he into cars but also go-karts, motorcycles, four wheelers, and he brought one of those Vespa like bikes at one point. He has also used our kids as an excuse as well. He's brought a pocket bike and go-kart allegedly for our son. It may seem thoughtful but the pocket bike was attained while my son was a baby and he brought the go-kart for his 6th birthday. The go-kart was adult sized and not safe for him to drive so it hung out our basement for years. Once my son was maybe around 10, my husband decided to let him test it out. Well though I wasn't present, I was told my son drove it, speeding down the neighborhood and it scared my husband to the point that he was ready to get rid of it.

Even though this passion of his has brought upon many unnecessary purchases, I will admit it has been fun at times. Since I grew up in NYC, many don't drive and the ones that do are mostly just concerned with getting from point A to point B. Growing up, I had never been to a car show or anything car related. Today I have been to all types of car gatherings, from parking lot meets to race tracks, and have come to enjoy looking at the pretty cars. For our 10th wedding anniversary we went to the Charlotte Raceway and I loved the entire experience and since I love amusement parks we went to  Carowinds the last day. It was a perfect day, since there was mist in the sky that morning, the park was pretty empty, and I made him ride every rollercoaster twice! It may have been an unconventional way to celebrate our milestone but we did it our way enjoying things we loved. 

I have learned how to be supportive of my spouse even when I don't always get "it". It has also made us both learn about compromise and proper communication. I sometimes struggled with his choices when our kids were small because I didn't understand his motives. Later I learned it was his way of investing and he felt comfortable knowing if needed he had things he could easily liquidate. It's easy to criticize our spouses when they are into things we aren't, but marriage is about learning all aspects of the person you married and supporting them in a healthy and constructive way.

A few weeks ago, he "surprised" me with our newest addition and my first thoughts were "really, he we go again". I knew he was close to getting this car, but the timing was sooner than I had anticipated. That was the surprise. He actually had been on websites eyeing it since Covid, and I had expressed the color the liked, but I thought it would be later on in the year. Well when I saw how pretty she is in person ( I named her Jade), it was really difficult to be upset. Not to mention, he was spot on with the timing due to the rapid changes that have come to our country. The price has already gone up on the car and I don't know if he would have been able to get that year/model had we waited. I have come to just let him be who he is. I could tell countless stories but this post is long enough and I think you get the picture. He has always worked on cars in some capacity, so he's always around them and people will often call him when they want to sell something. We do discuss a financial plan for these purposes, which allows me to feel safe with his judgment. We have built a mutual respect for how we handle this car life, but I often wonder how other wives in similar positions handle it. Is anyone else spouse taking them through a junkyard or going on a two hour drive to buy a car part from someone's Facebook ad?