The Woman I'm Becoming While God is Still Shaping Me

 

I used to think spiritual growth would feel more obvious than this.

I imagined it would look like stronger faith, better habits, more patience, and fewer mistakes. I thought there would come a point where certain struggles would disappear and trusting God would feel effortless.

But the longer I've walked with Christ, the more I've realized that growth often looks different than I expected.

It looks less like arriving and more like becoming.

Less like perfection and more like surrender.

Less like having all the answers and more like learning to trust God when I don't.

And if I'm being honest, some of the greatest growth in my faith hasn't happened during mountaintop moments. It has happened in the ordinary days, the difficult seasons, and the places where God gently revealed areas of my heart that still needed His work.

Growth Doesn't Always Look Like Progress

We often think of growth as moving forward.

Checking off goals.

Building better habits.

Accomplishing something measurable.

While those things can certainly be signs of growth, spiritual growth often looks much quieter.

Sometimes growth looks like choosing your words carefully during a difficult conversation.

Sometimes it looks like apologizing when your pride would rather stay silent.

Sometimes it looks like continuing to trust God even when circumstances haven't changed.

There have been seasons in my life where I felt as though I wasn't making much progress at all. Yet looking back, I can see that God was doing some of His deepest work beneath the surface.

More recently, my struggle was trusting God, even when my circumstances haven't changed. It was as if I knew His Word, and believed in His promises, but was still allowing doubt to creep in, because things weren't changing. However it isn't always about seeing the things around us improve but rather having a heart and posture change that really matters. It was me that needed to be worked on more than my circumstances.

The truth is, God is often more concerned with who we are becoming than how quickly we think we're progressing.

God Has Been Working on Me in Unexpected Places

One thing I've learned is that God rarely asks for my opinion about where He wants to grow me.

There are areas I willingly bring before Him. There are other areas I don't even realize need attention until He shines a light on them.

For me, some of the hardest lessons haven't been about learning something new. They've been about unlearning things.

Unlearning self-reliance.

Unlearning the need to control outcomes.

Unlearning the belief that I always have to have everything figured out.

There are so many things that I'm waiting for and I don't want to be so concerned about the outcomes that I miss all the learning and growth through the process. It wasn't that I was trying to accomplish these things without Him, but I wanted them done in my timing and in the ways I thought was best, if that makes sense.

Growth can be uncomfortable because it often requires us to release the very things we've been holding onto.

Yet every time God asks us to let go of something, it's because He wants to give us something better in return.

The Tension Between Grace and Growth

There have been times when I've become frustrated with myself.

Frustrated that I wasn't growing faster.

Frustrated that certain struggles still surfaced.

Frustrated that I hadn't mastered lessons I thought I should have learned by now.

Maybe you've felt that way too.

We want growth, but we often want it on our timeline.

What I've been learning is that God's grace and His desire for our growth are not competing with one another.

His grace meets us where we are.

His love isn't dependent on our performance.

At the same time, He loves us too much to leave us unchanged.

Spiritual growth isn't about earning God's approval. It's about responding to the love we've already been given.

And sometimes that process takes longer than we'd like.

Who Am I Becoming?

Lately, I've found myself asking a different question.

Not "How much have I accomplished?"

Not "Am I doing enough?"

But:

Who am I becoming?

Am I becoming more patient?

More trusting?

More compassionate?

More willing to surrender my plans when God leads differently?

Am I becoming a woman whose faith shows up not only in what she says but in how she lives?

Those questions matter because our lives are shaped by who we are becoming, not just what we are doing.

And while I still have plenty of growing to do, I'm grateful that God is patient with the process.

Questions for Reflection

As you reflect on your own season, consider these questions:

• What has God been teaching me lately?

• Where might I be resisting growth?

• What area of my life requires deeper trust?

• How have I seen God's faithfulness in this season?

• Who am I becoming through what I'm currently experiencing?

Take a few moments to sit with those questions. Sometimes the lessons God is teaching us become clearer when we slow down long enough to notice them.

Final Thoughts

One of the gifts of reflection is that it allows us to see God's hand in places we might have otherwise overlooked.

I've found that writing down prayers, lessons, answered prayers, and areas of growth helps me stay intentional about my faith journey instead of simply moving through life on autopilot.

If you're in a season of wanting to grow intentionally in both your faith and personal life, the Faith & Personal Growth Planner was created to help you reflect, stay grounded, and continue moving forward with purpose.

None of us have arrived.

We are all becoming.

And thankfully, God is still shaping us along the way.